Tough conversations

I was in a workshop for new managers at a multi-national corporation recently. At the start I asked them about their major managerial challenges - the kind that are stressful and keep them up at night. Here's a sample of what I got.

• Giving developmental feedback ("negative" is the word almost always used)

• Managing conflicting priorities

• Getting people to take ownership / accountability

• Managing tough deadlines

• Saying "no"

What is the common theme running through these?

All of them require tough conversations. The kind that create a knot in our stomachs. The kind that many of us shy away from. Because we fear that the conversation will make things worse.

Such challenges appear in almost all workshops I run - emotional intelligence, people management, leadership styles, navigating office politics etc. They come up as the key challenges for most of my one-on-one coaching clients.

Woudn't it be nice if we had the skills to have these conversations regularly? The great news is that it is possible to learn these skills. It takes time, discipline and some hand holding. But the skills are learnable.